The Dating Game

Hey there bloggers,

      We meet again but, this time, I am no longer heartbroken. Yes, I have finally moved on from the pain and hurt of my last relationship. I am now in the what I call, the dating game. Goodness, who knew I would ever wind up here again. Alas, I am and I am enjoying every minute of it. 

       Dating is so much fun if you play the game correctly. I have heard so many complaints about dating and how hard it is. It's my belief that the only reason why it is so hard to date is because, of the expectations we all have for one another. Most women are looking to settle down and, most men are seeking a good time. The trick is to keep your expectations low. This doesn't mean that one doesn't have to have small requirements. What I am saying is to throw away the list! Ladies, I know you all know exactly what I am talking about. Those who do not know what "the list" is, I'll explain further.  It's all of those qualities,traits, and qualifications we require in a mate. An example of this would be a height requirement. I know that I love tall men. A man who is over six feet with an athletic build and blue eyes is on the top of my list. Although this is my preference, I don't discount anyfuture prospects, if they don't fit the bill. I am learning to take people as they come and as they are.
       The only issue I have with dating is when it starts to get serious. I have done some research on the subject and the amount of time dating should thing go before it gets exclusive. I have found that most people are told by their dates, upfront, that they are really not looking for anything serious. THIS IS THE KEY PHRASE... If you are not mentally strong enough for casual dating, do not start dating someone who is emotionally unavailable. It is important to be honest with yourself and to accept someone as he or she comes. Most people who are in the dating game know exactly what they want. People will also show you how they feel about you through their actions. I have a man who cooks for me and spoils me rotten. I have another one that I only speak to via internet. The last two guys only text me when they are bored and have nothing else to do. I don't know this as fact but, it surely seems that way.
       My plan for myself is to enjoy being single while I am still single. I have no expectations for myself as far as marriage goes. Though, I do have inductive reasoning skills. I have a pattern of being in the dating game for three months and, shortly after I am in a new relationship. I am trying to break that cycle by being the master of my own destiny. I am going to date. date. date, until my dating card is completely full.
       I hope all of you bloggers, who are in the dating game, have an amazing time. Go out tonight and remember the key phrase. If you can't stand the heat, get the heck out of the kitchen. ;)


                                              

The Life and Times Of A Single Mom: The Year of ME

The Life and Times Of A Single Mom: The Year of ME: Hey there bloggers, I wanted to share some new and interesting movements I am partaking in. I am challenging myself, for one full year, to...

The Year of ME

Hey there bloggers,

I wanted to share some new and interesting movements I am partaking in. I am challenging myself, for one full year, to focus entirely on self healing and self improvement. I am working on the healing the deepest most inner hurt and pain and turning all that negativity away for good. I am learning and working on accepting and giving off positive energy at all times.

After a recent heartbreaking event in my life, I started to evaluate the situation in its entirety. Then I came to a point where I just threw my hands up and said, "I'm done." I have been on a search ever to find out exactly why I continue this pattern of failed relationships. Could I really be the problem or was it even deeper than I could have ever imagined? I was in search for some spiritual healing and knowledge.

After countless efforts on trying to find this understanding on my own, I came in contact with someone I'd like to call a spiritual healer aka. an angel:) She showed me that I had so much left over hurt and bottled up pain which I had never dealt with. I never took the time to fully heal from the big events that damaged me in some way, shape, form or fashion. She went on to explain to me that I had to heal from those events completely to be able to let all of the negativity go. I had to be able to let all of the bad thoughts, hurt, resentment, sadness, and anger GO! This takes a lot of work, focus and concentration. She taught me that it starts with the understanding that our creator/GOD has put me here for a purpose whether it be great or small. If you can accept GOD and his love, everything else will follow. Choose to do right, when everything around you tells you to do wrong. Choose to be the example or the leader instead of the problem or the follower. So, I made a choice for the first time in my life to make the RIGHT choice for me. I am taking time to heal and learn about ME. To explore parts of me that I never knew existed. I am also sharing my positive experiences and energy with others.

I'm on an amazing journey. Many people don't ever see the light until its too late. I choose to see the light and shine with it. I am making a change to love GOD and Myself first before I can love anyone else. I am doing it right this time.


Keep me in your prayers;)

So Hard To Say Goodbye

Hey there blogger,

I haven't written in awhile, mostly because I have been in the transition of moving out of the place I had called home. Life as I know it is so blurry and confusing. It's only been two days since my move and I have been feeling free in being able to mourn my loss of the one I called my love. To me, this breakup has felt like a death. I feel like I have lost my lover and my best friend. But to me a break-up is worse than a death, because the person who leaves is making the decision to do just that. Then comes the part that I dread --- having to say goodbye and moving on without him.

Saying goodbye is such a challenge for me. I don't consider myself one of those women who just try to hold on for as long as they can, until they find someone else. I also do not consider myself someone who is desperate. I consider myself someone a strong, loyal, dedicated, independent woman, who wants nothing more than to make a family for myself. Letting go of someone you honestly thought may be "the one" is a lot harder than I thought it would be. There are so many "almosts" out there, that is hard to differentiate which one is which. I assume that with age and wisdom, you learn how to tell them apart.

So, I have said goodbye and we have parted ways. He is doing him and I am doing me. I am looking forward to my new adventure. I am focusing on me, myself, and I. You know, being a single mom on top of going through all of this emotional stuff is a doozie. For all of those moms out there who are struggling with a life changing event such as a break-up or a loss of a loved one, GOD IS WITH US. Keep the faith and stay strong. I'm going it through it with you.

Say goodbye, move on, and get out there and LIVE! Thats what I am on my way to do:)

Good Luck and God Bless;)

Enjoy Love

Hey there bloggers,

It's me again..and I wanted to share a little something with you tonight. Now, I am not an expert on love, seeing as how I cannot seem to keep myself in a relationship. But I do know that I have found some peace with this thing called "love."  It is my belief that love is an emotion and that you can fall in and out of it. The word Love is used too loosely. Love should really be respected and appreciated.

I can remember the first time I fell in love with a guy. It was magical. The loves that I have found in my life, have been such a roller coaster ride. I have listened to the saddest songs, watched the saddest movies, and cried my eyes out during both because of my many loves. I have reminisced on what would have, should have and could have been. I have had so much regret and shortly after started to form a bitterness within myself. Being young and inexperienced had alot to do with the mindset I was in.

Turning 30 years old was such a pivotal moment in my life. I finally feel like a grown woman who is responsible, independent and strong. I'm beginning to see that you really must enjoy life and enjoy love. I know it is so much easier said than done. The world that we live in have all these standards of what we should be and how we should feel about marriage, babies and life in general. I have come to the conclusion that you have to make the choice to believe in what YOU WANT to believe in.

So, my choice is to ENJOY LOVE! I want to enjoy every waking moment loving GOD, my daughter, my family and my best friends. I am going enjoy every hug and kiss I receive. I want to embrace others and see each moment as being precious. So I encourage you all to enjoy life and enjoy LOVE!:)

Taking Responsibility

Hey bloggers,

So yesterday I had another epiphany. It was regarding taking responsibility for my actions and mistakes. Not that I don’t normally, but in certain instances, I haven’t. There are a lot of things going on in my life that are really hard for me to deal with. It’s so easy to blame someone else for everything that is going wrong. You can blame your significant other, your employer, your parents or even GOD Himself. I do admit I have been so guilty of this. At times it takes me such a long time to figure out where things went wrong, because I am so busy blaming someone. I neglect to look at the issue for what it really is. If you don’t understand the problem fully, how in the world can you find a resolution? So, from now on I am looking to myself and working on becoming a better me.  I am learning how to take responsibility for my actions so I can work on finding resolutions when things go wrong. I am still learning how to do any of this and that is what life is all about. It’s about taking the plunge and being ready for what’s in store. I am taking the plunge to change and take ownership of what I do and the outcome of it all.  Wish me luck ;)

I’d like to share an inspirational message:

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Have an amazing day everyone!

Mother daughter time

   I really do enjoy motherhood. Although at times it is so trying, I do adore my alone time with my daughter. She really gets me through the tough times. I am so lucky to have her in my life. Sometimes as a single mom, I get so stressed out because I don't have any help with her. Then there are times when we are together and she is reading or telling me about her day, and I feel overjoyed that this little person is here by my side.

  One of my favorite things to do is watch my little bear sleeping. She looks so peaceful and it automatically reverts me to a time when she was a baby. I start to think about her growing up before my eyes and how she is counting on me to be able to hold us down. I am honestly all that she has and I will never let her down.

She is my sunshine and when there is absolutely no one around, there is always her.